From the Desk of the Dictator:

Welcome back from your weekend everyone.

Having completed my goal of killing a superhero in cold blood last week, I spent the last week in the office killing projects. When a villainous organization has been around for as long as Technefarious, it’s inevitable that some junk will accumulate.

Unhappy I chopped your pet program? Well, let’s see what I ended.

Project Rotten Core involved sticking a planet-cracker bomb at the center of the Earth. I’m sorry, but you break it, you bought doesn’t work well as a long term strategy for our rule. If we ever do break it, we’ll have to fix the damn thing. Not that we can’t, it’s just that it’s a hell of a lot more work than I want to do.

I also ended Project Weebly Wobbly, which included a step where we turned the Moon into cheese. If we have to transmute an entire planetoid, the plan might just have too many moving parts. Consider all the rigamarole I went through to kill Pinnacle and then realized that if I think the plan is too complicated, it’s probably too complicated.

One more: Project New Light would introduce a false messiah to the Earth. That’s great, until you realize that Technefarious wouldn’t publically be in charge. If our messiah decides he doesn’t like being our puppet, he’d be in a great position to turn on us.

Did I say “our puppet?” I meant “my puppet.” Did I say “turn on us?” I meant “turn on me.” I’m the boss until I’m not, kids.

If you don’t see some of our faithful lieutenants in your departments this week, it’s because they’re breaking down a plot for Operation Carved Branch, which will kickoff Project Cracked Foundation. It’s an all specialists operation, so aside from having an extraction team on standby, it shouldn’t disrupt the daily routines of too many of you.

In said news, Henchman 00A-1T (Dr. Codger), who worked with Dr. Crankpot back in the day, passed away yesterday afternoon. I’m going through his file to put together a speech for his memorial tomorrow, and I’m amazed he lasted this long. He was gray and wrinkled when he joined Technefarious all those decades ago. I’ll miss him. He made a mean gin and tonic.

Friday is the finals for the skee ball competition. The stuffed animal filling up hanger B is the trophy for the winner. I had it custom made. I have no idea how you’re going to get it out of there since it’s too big to get through the doors. Just remember, if you win it, you’re responsible for getting it out of there.

Have a good week everyone. Remember, the world is already ours – it just doesn’t realize it yet.

Your Leader,

Dr. Photius Callaway

The Killing Man