From the Desk of the Dictator:

Welcome back from your weekend everyone.

I have never liked the MechaMen.

Giant robots have their place in the scheme of things. Certainly, they have been dead useful for keeping the Pacific Ocean’s population of giant monsters under control. The way Japan shattered China’s magical protections during World War Two left the entire Pacific Rim open to the rampaging critters. Certainly the superpowered population held them off for a while, but it was the rise of the giant robot industry that really brought the problem under control.

Still, to an organization like ours, they have a limited utility. Like any large military vehicle, they can be used to invade a country, but they are not terribly subtle. Yes, you could take a city with them, but your only option to deal with a building full of enemy combatants is to crush it. Technefarious is dedicated to as smooth a transition to our rule over the planet as possible. Ultimately, giant robots just are not subtle enough weapons for us.

The MechaMen have never been big on subtle. In the four decades of their existence, they have served as mercenaries for some of the worst tyrants and tryant-wannabees on the planet. They have a leaderboard for how bystanders have been crushed under the giant metal feet of each pilot’s robot. The two times they have managed to carve out their own government, they have ruled every bit as harshly as their usual type of employers.

I’m a villain, but I don’t like these guys. So when it came time to test our new weapon platform, it made sense to me to give our inglorious competition a bad turn.

It works. The earthquake machine we have been building as the centerpiece of Project Jelly Doughnut performed as expected. The Mechamen’s complex consisted of large hangers carved into a mountain. Past tense. It is now an oversized sinkhole. The containment field for the earthquake machine also worked. None of Earth’s the seismographs registered the attack, and the snow on the far side of Mechmen’s mountain did not even avalanche. Our science department reports that the containment field was not as focused as they expected, spreading the event over a wider area than their calculations predicted. They were disappointed, but I’ve done this sort of work to know that the real world factors always require refining the theory. However, large scale testing of the earthquake machine will have to wait until we start the final part of Project Jelly, Operation Flat Pancake.

We lost no one during the operation, but many of the MechaMen’s henchmen and on-base families died. You may want to take a moment to consider that.

Our facilities will be running with minimum staffing this week, although all hands are expected back Saturday to start the final preparations for the launch of Operation Flat Pancake on Monday.

Enjoy this week everyone, because we are going to have a busy next week and we’ll be even busier afterwards if we succeeded. The world is already ours – we’re just going to be bringing its attention to that fact.

Your Leader,

Dr. Photius Callaway

The Killing Man