From the Desk of the Dictator:
Welcome back from your weekend everyone. Maintenance tells me there are still several velociraptors running around the building after the science department’s time travel fiasco. The biology department says they have all of the critters they can use, so if you see any of the chicken-sized carnivores running around, feel free to use them for target practice. Yes, velociraptors are actually chicken-sized. I would say we should run an operation to teach the idiots in charge of the Jurassic Park movies a couple of things, but the Rabid Dinoman already took care of that.
This is a good time to remind everyone to keep their paradox implants properly charged. Henchmen 76D-6W (Susan) and 34F-8C (Reggie) have not been seen since the explosion at the time travel demonstration. Yes, the implants do allow us to track you, but letting a super-criminal organization know every detail of your movements is not worse than getting wiped out of existence by a time shift. Usually.
Operation Prairie Dog will be implemented on Friday. Nevertheless, I expect we will have it wrapped up in time for everyone to enjoy their weekend. The motor pool should ensure all available drill sleds are operational by the end of Thursday. On Friday morning, the assigned assault teams will assemble in the southeast garage accompanied by science unit A. Extraction teams Beta, Delta, and Epsilon will take their positions at teleport rooms 16, 18, and 19, while Gamma will launch from the flight hanger as the airborne backup. The medical and occult departments should be ready to deal with casualties.Â
Before that, we can look forward a week of evening cooking classes taught by Celebrity Chef Rouel. Maintaining cover during the lessons will not be necessary, as the science department will have Rouel under their mind control. He believes he is vacationing in the Bahamas. He may not be getting much rest, but I can say he will return to his regular life relaxed and with a camera full of computer-manipulated vacation pictures.
Next week we’ll be playing host to a delegation from the Chlorophyll Cabal, so expect to see vegetable people shadowing henchmen in your department. Remember everyone: plants are people too.
Have a good week everyone. And remember, the world is already ours – it just doesn’t realize it yet.Â
Your Leader,
Dr. Photius Callaway
The Killing Man