Mon 27 Sep 2010
From the Desk of the Dictator:
Welcome back from your weekend everyone.
Well, we all found out what happened to the henchmen corpses I was keeping in the lobby, didn’t we? For those that missed it, a giant Frankenstein monster with too many heads and limbs interrupted the screening of Iron Boots. While the Duke growled about the American way and justice that looked a bit like revenge, the monster ripped its way through the auditorium, tossing chairs and henchmen aside as it plowed straight toward me. At the back of the auditorium, Dr. Philip Alexander of the science department ranted something about revenge against the world and taking my place as leader of our organization. Honestly, I cannot tell you exactly what he said, because I was not really paying attention to him. Although I do remember wondering why he thought killing me meant the Elite Triad would follow him. In any event, Dr. Alexander seemed to think my reputation for being able to kill anything did not extend to things that were already dead. He was wrong, and soon enough, he was dead.
He left a mess behind him though. In addition to the damage in Auditorium A, Dr. Alexander destroyed the occult department’s soul catchers, in order to keep them from raising me from the dead. Unfortunately, there was collateral damage to his attempt to kill me. Everyone, please take a moment of your day today to remember Henchman 22O-0D (Sean), who did not survive the rampage. He served our organization in Cafeteria B, keeping our villainy fed and ready to fight against heroes the world over. He will be missed.
While we will continue preparations for Operation Big Question, we will delay its execution while we repair the soul catchers. Most of the materials from the old ones can be recycled, but the demon ichor and the angel feathers have to be freshly gathered. Until then, we’ll just have to take the risks of living like the regular mortals we are. Except for Saber-Cat, of course. This does not affect his immortality one way or the other.
The medical division will be distributing flu shots this week. Please take the time to get one. The LEGO club is displaying the best of this quarter’s creations in Break Room C, so stop by and check their work out. Finally, a viewing party for the annual Dimensional Sky Rift is being held at the top of the southwest tower Wednesday night. The meteorologists are predicting clear skies, so we should have a spectacular view of the eruption. I hope to see you there.
Have a good week everyone. And remember, the world is already ours – it just doesn’t realize it yet.
Dr. Photius Callaway
The Killing Man