Tue 26 Oct 2010
From the Desk of the Dictator:
Welcome back from your weekend everyone.
When I took over as leader of the Technefarious, I’d hope to reduce the frequent moves of our base of operations. Unfortunately, all I have seemed to be able to do is make our transfer to a backup base run more smoothly. Part of that is simply having the facilities already built and outfitted ahead of time. If our current base has to be shut down, we have three others ready to go tomorrow. I prefer to have four, but reconstructing the teleported rubble of our previous site takes a few weeks. Sure it is expensive, but if we can’t raise the dough, why would we think we could conquer the world?
The tracking tags we used to coordinate the transfer of everyone’s possessions will certainly be worth a bundle once teleportation technology goes commercial. GPS units going mainstream was a huge revenue boost for a least five supervillain organizations that I know of (and one superhero, the Golden Explorer, but Green Needle recently gained control of the majority shares of his company, so at least there’s that). Our procedure of inserting tags into our possessions so that our teleport systems can easily find and deposit them in tidy pile for unpacking is a sure moneymaker once the infrastructure exists to make it worth marketing. Sure, it creates an easy way to keep track of you and your stuff, but if you cannot trust your fellow supervillains, whom can you trust?
Speaking of which, if anyone is wondering what happened to Henchman 14T-6L (Maxwell) of the transportation department, I executed him using the improper misappropriation of tagged items from his fellow henchmen during the evacuation. It turns out you cannot trust your fellow supervillains. How about that?
The science department’s examination of the biopsies we recovered from the Soil Six last week is producing results. In addition to moving Project Jelly Doughnut forward, they are also turning out other interesting tidbits. For example, the Soil Six’s resident siblings, Little Quartz and Time Sand, had two different fathers. As far as I know, the fact that they are only half-siblings is not something generally known, not even to them. Our propaganda department is looking for ways to turn that information to our advantage.
To celebrate settling into our new facilities, we’ll be holding an international pizza party in the cafeteria. Come try freshly teleported pizza pies from 108 different pizzerias scattered across the globe.
Now you will have to excuse me, Saber-Cat needs to speak with me.
Have a good week everyone. And remember, the world is already ours – it just doesn’t realize it yet.
Dr. Photius Callaway
The Killing Man