From the Desk of the Dictator:

Welcome back from your weekend everyone.

First, I’d like to congratulate everyone for the success of Operation Prairie Dog. The crystals we stole from the Magicforge Gnomes will go a long way in moving forward Project Jelly Doughnut. A special note of recognition goes to Extraction Team Delta for rescuing two members of Science Team A from the clutches of the superheroes Sunshine and Snowstorm. The heroes’ appearance was an unexpected variable in the operation; Sunshine and Snowstorm do not even follow the same the theme as the Gnomes. Nevertheless, Delta overcame the odds and kept their fellow henchmen from a stint in the Magicforge dungeons.

Despite the success, there were some disciplinary problems during a heist that I feel the need to address. I would like to remind everyone that we are a criminal enterprise dedicated Grand Gesture school of crime. Every person who dies during one of our operations is one less we will rule over once we seize power. Now, it would exceptionally hypocritical of me to say murder is never appropriate, but there is a difference between killing people and committing atrocities. If you lack the temperament to maintain the discipline this requires, our exit interviews involve a strictly minimal amount of memory wipes. The corpses of the six henchmen I had to discipline will be on display in cryogenic units in the front lobby for the rest of the week.

The injunction against casual killing does not apply to superheroes, of course. They come back from the dead more often than Dracula. So, if you see someone wearing a costume and they are not on our side, shoot to kill.

The Chlorophyll Cabal is visiting us this week to observe our operation, so strange costumes in the hallway this week should not be an immediate cause for alarm. If your food tastes funny at meals, it is because it has been spiced with an anti-hypnotic that can counter the mesmerizing powers of some of the Cabal’s members. As I pointed out to their leader Green Needle, it is not that we do not trust her people; it is just that supervillains are notorious for suffering from poor impulse control. Better, I think, to be safe rather than sorry. If you start to experience any strange effects from the additives or from proximity to Cabal members, please consult our medical staff.

The list of shared events and guest lectures with visiting Cabal members is posted on bulletin boards throughout the complex.

Have a good week everyone. And remember, the world is already ours – it just doesn’t realize it yet.

Your Leader,

Dr. Photius Callaway

The Killing Man