Entries tagged with “occult department”.


From the Desk of the Dictator:

Welcome back from your weekend everyone.

According to the Establishment’s Emergency Alert, the monsters currently attacking the Technefarious facility are dragons, although I don’t remember dragons usually being described as having lush grass-green beards. The ones gnawing on our buildings are a small portion of an invasion from another dimension. Our Intelligence department has reviewed the chatter about the attack around the Earth and estimated the threat level at a Global C. Since the people of this planet don’t properly acknowledge our claim to rule them, we’ll let their superhero community deal with the bigger problem.

Staff not assisting in harassing the local infestation should stay indoors and away from windows. I’m typing this right now because Saber-Cat told me off for interfering with his overseeing the defenses. Because of my powers, I do know how to kill the dragons, but since the first step would be to send them back to their own dimensions, I wasn’t especially useful to him. Rather than hurt his feelings, I checked in with the other department heads and used my powers to narrow down the avenues of research for the Occult and Science departments. Still, they can do the work faster than I can, so I came back to my office to twiddle my thumbs.

They’ll probably call me if they need me.

Try not get eaten, people. Your clones aren’t cheap you know.

Your Leader,

Dr. Photius Callaway
The Killing Man

From the Desk of the Dictator:

Welcome back from your weekend everyone.

We’re running Operation Cloudburst as I write this. This is the final stage of Project Cut Flowers, where Pipewrench pursues his revenge against his fellow countrymen of the Suncloud by firing his Dimension Projector at their sky-flying island. We didn’t dig too much into the reasons he wants revenge, but he is a villain and this is his response, so I’m guessing it isn’t actually proportional to severity of the harm he received.

Pipewrench is giving the orders to the Technefarious personnel onboard his skyship while I act as the admiral to his captain. As an admiral with only one ship, I’m mostly tracking reports and waiting for my special talents to be needed. So far I’ve plenty of time to type this and have a nice cup of tea.

We got pretty close before we were detected. The invisibility mist cloaking our skyship worked flawlessly right until one of the natives of the Suncloud out on a Sunday flight slammed into us. Unfortunately, she was the fairly sturdy sort, so the collision didn’t knock her out of the sky, nor did the gunfire from our machine/laser/plasma guns.

Our craft is a fairly ugly thing if you could actually see it. It’s basically a big floating platform the size of three warehouses with the Dimension Projector and defensive structures strapped to it. It’s not pretty and takes more people to run than it would have otherwise, but we were hurrying to get this done with. Throw in the Assault teams on board to repel borders, and it’s pretty crowded. We’re basically going to have to moor ourselves to the Suncloud to ensure the Dimension Projector catches it all, so it’s not like we could leave them behind. Teleporting everyone out if something happens to our skyship could get dicey. Good thing we have all those Transportation teams standing by, isn’t it?

Initial contact with the Suncloud’s defenses was fun. They couldn’t see us, so they covered our part of the sky with flak. Theoretically, it either should have hit us or revealed our location by the lack of explosions. Except our force fields shrugged off their shots, and our magicians cast illusions of fake explosions to match the rest of the sky. I’m so glad Dr. Occultomancer built a decent Occult department for Technefarious before I took over.

It’s been easier for the Suncloud’s forces to find us since we’ve made physical contact with the island. Their laser-shooting spider automatons were pretty much useless. Lasers go right through invisible things. We probably would have ignored them, but they started coming onto our skyship. Pipewrench had the Assault teams use them for target practice, which attracted the attention of the Suncloud’s catapults. Catapults are not something I would normally consider a threat, but they’re using grey-goo nanobot shots sheathed in a counter-force field field. Remind me to have the science department steal the latter technology and come up with a better name for it. The goo eats about two feet of material before it burns out. It’s been messy, but with their personal force fields only direct hits are dangerous to our personnel. If the Suncloud keeps it up for much longer, the entire front deck will nothing but dead goo, which the Assault teams are already starting to shovel into foxholes. Remember kids, don’t fire weapons at your enemies that they can build a defense out of.

The human troops from the Suncloud are beginning to assemble behind the automatons now. I expect we’ll see them in direct combat soon.

And there’s a matter that requires my personal attention. Hitting send!

Your Leader,

Dr. Photius Callaway

The Killing Man

From the Desk of the Dictator:

Welcome back from your weekend everyone.

If you had not heard, the ceremony to rebuild the soul catchers finished late last week. The reconstruction was successful but not without complications. Henchmen 41T-6Y (Roger) of the occult department did not have his personal wards as tight as they should have been during the work. When a Facet Wraith took the opportunity created by the ceremony to slip into our dimension, the monster drained the life from him faster than I could kill it. If anyone knows anything about his possible heirs, please contact human resources.

With the soul catchers back up, we have been deep in preparation for Operation Big Question, the next step of Project Jelly Doughnut. Our objective is to capture the stone dragon eggs of Granquartz the Magnificent. The living dragon statute Granquartz lives deep within the cliffside base of the Soil Six. An assault on their cliff-embedded dome should divert their attention from an attack through the earth by the drill sleds. Even with the distraction, units on the sleds should expect only a limited amount of time before the Six respond to their prong of the attack. In addition, Granquartz is unlikely to leave the eggs even during a fight, so the armory will distribute sonic weapons help keep her at bay. As always, unit leaders should keep interference from unanticipated superheroes in mind. Assault teams Z, X, and W will be assigned to the frontal assault, supported by Extraction team Alpha. Assaults teams Y and V will provide cover for extraction teams Beta, Gamma, and Delta as they recover the eggs. Extraction team Epsilon will be held in reserve. The motor pool and armory should have all equipment for the operation ready to go by Wednesday night. The medical and occult departments should be ready to deal with causalities once the operation gets underway this Thursday.

The relic department has announced that this weekend will see the kickoff of their latest show. The one will focus on the Renaissance, including several pieces on loan from the Grand Connoisseur’s Collection of Stolen Art. That means they will be taking down the trans-dimensional items displays late in the week, so if you have not checked out the Collapsed Echo Universe or the Cracked Man’s Deed to the Earth, you only have a couple more days before they go back into storage.

Have a good week everyone. And remember, the world is already ours – it just doesn’t realize it yet.

Your Leader,

Dr. Photius Callaway

The Killing Man